If you are the mother of an eating disordered daughter, I’m glad you found me. I am here to help you. If you want support and guidance, please call me. Click here to read what mothers are saying about my work.
If your daughter has an eating disorder, you know heartache and pain.
You may be feeling scared, sad, anxious, confused or helpless. You may have been searching the past to try to make sense of this situation, and even been tempted to blame or criticize yourself. You may be trying to cope with the impact her illness is having on the whole family. And you may feel isolated and overwhelmed .
But you do not need to face these challenges alone. If you want someone to talk with about with this difficult situation, please call me.
What about Fathers? I am here to offer support and guidance to fathers also.
A father’s pain is just as real as a mother’s. When a daughter develops an eating disorder, fathers are distressed and concerned, and they, too, need empathy, support and guidance.
I address my words here especially to mothers because mothers bear emotional burdens unique to them due to their role as caregivers and their gender. A mother is often the primary caregiver and is vulnerable to the feelings of responsibility and guilt that can come up when a daughter develops an eating disorder. Also, a mother can comprehend and feel, from within herself and her own experience, the body image and appearance challenges her daughter faces in today’s culture.
I work with mothers, fathers, with parents together, and with families. I welcome a call from anyone whose loved one has an eating disorder.
MY OWN MOTHER’S JOURNEY[back to top]
I wish that my mother had someone to help her when I was a pre-teen struggling with an eating disorder. I knew that both of my parents were very concerned; they talked together about what to do. But I knew my mother bore particular pain, both because of being a mother and the main caretaker, and because she, too, had her struggle with cultural pressure around appearance and body image.
It was my mother who called the pediatrician and went with me to his office and took me to the lab for tests. It was my mother who was with me in the doctor’s office when he told me ”If you don’t gain weight, we will need to put you in the hospital.” Of course, she told my father everything the doctor said, and both of my parents were worried and concerned. But I knew my mother felt heartbroken and helpless. I could see the pain on her face.
Years later when I spoke with my mother about her experience of my anorexia, she told me how upset and overwhelmed she had been. She described how lonely and lost she felt trying to figure out what to do. When I had gained weight and the pediatrician had said that maybe I was OK, she noticed that I remained withdrawn and unhappy and still very picky about food. I remained that way throughout my teen years, but I couldn’t talk about my inner struggles. My mother told me how helpless she felt when I left home, turned 18, distanced from my family, and became thinner and sicker than before.
I am sad for the pain my parents experienced throughout the years that I was anorexic. I am sad my mother was isolated and had no one she could talk with about her pain.
If your daughter has an eating disorder and you want help, please call me.
SERVICES
FREE INTERACTIVE CONFERENCE CALL[back to top]
I offer a free one-hour conference call quarterly to provide mothers with information and support. You are welcome to join this call from anywhere in the world where you have phone access. You can talk about your concerns and hear how other mothers are handling this difficult situation.
Of course, you are welcome to call me at any time to arrange for individual support.
If you enter your e-mail address, I will send you an e-mail announcement with details about the call about a week in advance. Please call me at 415-924-2100 for further information.
INDIVIDUAL THERAPY
If your daughter has an eating disorder, you know distress and pain. You may feel scared and confused about what to do. It can be shocking and heartbreaking to discover that your daughter has a serious, life-threatening illness. You may feel alone and overwhelmed, and even blame yourself for your daughter’s disorder.
Mothers in this situation deserve special support. You do not need to face these challenges alone. You can talk with me about your concerns and questions. I can offer you support and guidance from my 25 years specializing in eating disorders. If you want help with what you are going through, please call me.
PHONE SUPPORT[back to top]
If it is more convenient for you to talk by phone, rather than coming in to my office, please feel free to call me. We can schedule a time to talk.
This is also an easy and accessible way of getting the information and personal support you need if you live outside the San Francisco Bay area or are unable to come to my office.
CLASSES FOR MOTHERS[back to top]
You may be wishing you had better ways to manage the situation with your eating disordered daughter. In a 3-hour class for mothers, you can get information to better understand your daughter’s illness. You can learn how to talk with your eating disordered daughter, what to expect during her recovery process, and specific ways you can help her on her path to regain health.
Please call me to get more information about these classes.
Tips for Moms[back to top]
Seasonal Tips for Mothers of Daughters with Eating Disorders
Avis Rumney
Read this article by Avis Rumney to learn how you can support your daughter when facing seasonal stressors and food-centered holidays. Please also consider purchasing Avis’ e-book, below, packed with important, practical insights on how you can take care of yourself while supporting your daughter’s recovery.
Tips for Mothers of Daughters with Eating Disorders
Avis Rumney
In this exclusive, easily downloadable e-book, Avis Rumney, LMFT and Eating Disorder Specialist, shares practical suggestions for handling some of the most challenging issues that mothers face when their daughter develops an eating disorder. This booklet addresses:
- What kind of professional help to seek for your daughter
- What to say — and not say — to her, especially about food, weight or appearance
- How to manage the pain you experience as a result of your daughter’s eating disorder
- What your daughter needs most from you
Mothers can start using these tips right away to begin making sense of what their daughters are going through, and to begin helping their daughters as well as themselves.
Buy the e-book below.
