Codependence
Do you try to control another person’s behavior through your actions? Does your peace of mind depend on how people close to you are feeling? Do you think it is your job to make those around you happy?
When you place your needs second to the needs of other people, and put effort into making other people feel or act in certain ways, you are acting in co-dependent ways. Codependence was originally applied to the loved ones of alcoholics or addicts — an addict is dependent on a substance, and a co-dependent is the spouse or loved one whose life revolves around trying to get the addict to stop using. Today the term codependent is used to refer to anyone whose contentment depends on how another person feels or behaves.
Codependence is a compulsion as strong as drug addiction. It is driven by the need to feel safe, and often develops when you have grown up in a chaotic, alcoholic, or emotionally bereft family.
But codependence is treatable.
I can help you:
- Reduce the anxiety that comes from concern about others’ behavior or feelings.
- Stop ruminating about the past and the future.
- Find safety through paying attention to your own needs and feelings.
- Take care of yourself if you have a loved one who suffers from an addiction.
- Discover what is important and has meaning for you.
Please contact me at (415) 924-2100 or This link requires javascript if you would like to talk about your concerns or wonder whether issues like these are making you unhappy.
Read the following related articles by Avis Rumney
How Can I Take Care of Myself When I’m So Busy Taking Care of Everyone Else?
Clashing Couples: Six Steps to a Happier Relationship
Internet Gaming: When Play Becomes a Drug
Dr. Kevin McCauley’s 10 Principles of Successful Addiction Treatment
